


Uh Oh, the Mall

by antivillain (museofspeed)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/museofspeed/pseuds/antivillain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team discovers Skye's past as a Chinese pop star. Maria Hill shows her how much worse it could be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uh Oh, the Mall

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this tumblr post,](http://howtodadwithphil.tumblr.com/post/111824112144) [this song,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S96Yqzg6JHU) and of course, [Robin Sparkles.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY_bhVSGKEg) I... don't even know. Takes place vaguely in Season 1....

“But I don’t understand!” Fitz said, gesturing at the screen. “How did she—are you sure it’s not paint? I don’t think clothing is supposed to be that tight! It’s not physiologically possible for her to sing in something that tight.”

“Fitz!” Simmons gave him a look and elbowed him. “I think she looks… well, it’s very… unique.”

Trip looked over at both of them, raising his eyebrows. “Is that nerd talk for she’s smoking hot?”

Simmons and Fitz glanced at each other and then back at him. “Well, it’s not--” Simmons began.

“It’s just that--” Fitz added.

“Yes,” Simmons finally said, turning slightly red.

“Well, yes,” Fitz agreed. “But it is implausibly tight.”

“Yeah, it is,” Trip said, and clicked to start the video over.

 

“Come on,” Skye said, bouncing along next to Ward as they made their way through the bus’ hallway. “I totally almost managed to hit you that time.”

“Almost isn’t going to get you out of a life or death situation,” Ward said, not turning to look at her. “And you didn’t even come close.”

“I came closer than, last time, right?” she smirked at him, cocking her head to the side. “Come on, at least you can admit…”

She trailed off as she heard the distant sound of a familiar chorus. _Uh oh, I can feel my heart go, racing out of control, it’s so crazy…_

“Oh, no.” Skye scowled and broke into a run.

Ward stopped, staring after her. “….what?” He started after her. “Skye?”

She followed the sounds to the lab and stormed into the room. “How the hell did you find that?”

“Skye!” Fitz said, turning around. “Or should I say…” he pointed dramatically. “International pop star Chloe Wang!”

Skye shoved past him and stopped the video. “That is not my name!”

“But it is you, isn’t it?” Simmons asked. “Why didn’t you tell us you were a singer?”

“Seriously?” she turned around, crossing her arms. “Why do you think? It’s just this dumb thing I did in high school that won’t go away no matter how many times I try and delete every last trace of it! And now my friends have to drag it back into my life!”

“Skye,” Simmons said, stepping forward. “We didn’t mean--”

“Yeah,” Skye said, turning around. “Whatever. Thanks, I guess, now I know I need to do another sweep for unauthorized copies. Which is all of them.”

“Hey,” Trip said. “We’ve all done dumb things when we were kids, it’s no big deal.”

Trip snickered and nudged Simmons. “Remember that time when I accidentally mixed up hydrogen sulfide and nitric acid? Thought I’d never be able to leave my room again!”

“Well, you did lose both eyebrows,” Simmons said. “But they grew back!”

Trip stared at them and shook his head. “See? It’s no big deal…” he trailed off as he looked up and saw nothing but Skye’s retreating back. “Skye?”

Ward poked his head through the door, creasing his eyebrow. “Skye just stormed past me fast enough I think the earth might have shook. What exactly just happened?”

Trip, Fitz, and Simmons looked at each other, then back at Ward, then down.

“…it’s a long story,” Simmons said, looking embarrassed.

“Skye made a music video when she was a teenager,” Trip said. “And she wears latex in it.”

“All right, I suppose it’s not that long,” Simmons admitted.

“Oh,” Ward said. Then he stopped and frowned, looking back up at them. “Wait, what?”

 

Skye had been avoiding everyone for almost three days before Coulson called her up to his office. When she arrived, Agent Maria Hill was waiting.

Skye looked around. “…where’s A. C.?”

“…A.C.” Agent Hill said, giving her a sidelong look. “Assuming you mean Agent Coulson, he thought it would be best if we kept this conversation between us. I understand you’ve had a recent… breach of privacy with regards to your past before you were a part of this Agency.”

“Is that super special spy talk for the music video I made as a kid somehow got leaked?” Skye asked.

“Yes,” Agent Hill said, without missing a beat. “I have something to show you.” She held out a slim manila folder. 

Skye eyed it warily for a moment, then took it. It was labeled Sparkles.

“Understand,” Hill said, looking serious, “These files are top secret. Only Level 8 operatives can access the Sparkles Files, and most of them aren’t even aware it exists. I wouldn’t have elected to let you see it at all, but Coulson thinks it’s important.”

The file contained nothing but a single DVD. Skye pulled it out and looked up at Agent Hill. “What is this?”

Hill sighed and stepped away from the desk. “You have your laptop, don’t you? Play it and find out.”

“Right.” Skye pulled it out and put the DVD in the drive. “Not sure what top secret files could possibly have to do with my misspent youth, but--”

The video opened up, panning up to show Agent Maria Hill herself with teased out blond hair and a graffiti coat. 

“Let’s go to the mall, everybody!” the younger Maria said, smiling enthusiastically. “Come on Jessica, Come on Tori! Let’s go to the mall, you won’t be sorry…”

Skye stared, then slowly turned towards Agent Hill. “That’s you?” She asked. “You’re… you’re….”

“I wasn’t always an Agent of SHIELD,” Agent Hill said. She was composed as always, but Skye was pretty sure that she looked embarrassed. “There was a time I wanted to be a News Anchor. And yes, there was a short but unfortunately significant period when I was a teen star.”

“I was going to say Canadian, actually,” Skye said. “I mean, aren’t you people supposed to be too polite to shoot super villains and stuff?”

“Yes, Canada jokes never stop being funny either,” Hill said. She sat down, in Coulson’s chair and steepled her fingers. “You’re not the only one here with a past, Skye. SHIELD can help you erase yours more thoroughly in this case, should you wish it, but it won’t make anyone think less of you as an Agent. And if you want to talk about it, I’m available.”

“This is a lot worse than my outfit too,” Skye added. “And what’s with that robot?”

“I think you’re missing the point,” Hill said, reaching forward to pause the video.

“Wait!” Skye said. “I need to find out what it’s all aboot!”

“I’m trying to help,” Hill told her, shooting Skye an annoyed look. 

“…yeah, I know,” Skye said. She glanced up at Hill, smiling a little in spite of herself. “Thanks, though. This actually was pretty helpful.”

Hill nodded, mollified. “Coulson thought it might be.”

Skye smirked. “I mean, seeing how much worse it could be--”

Hill held out her hand. “I’m going to need that file back.”

 

“It’s been three days,” Simmons said. “She won’t stay mad forever.” She looked up at Fitz and Trip. “…right?”

“We should apologize,” Fitz said, slumping forward. “She has to forgive us if we say we’re sorry, right?”

“I dunno,” Trip said. “She was pretty mad.”

“I liked the song!” Fitz added. “It was a good song, wasn’t it? All about… young love and such.”

“You really liked it?” Skye said, sauntering over to them. “Because I still think it’s crap, and I sang it.”

“Skye!” Simmons bounced up, running towards her. “We’re so sorry, we hadn’t realized--”

“No,” Skye said. “I’m sorry. I might have overreacted.”

“Just a bit,” Trip said. 

“Well, I have something that’ll make it up to you.” She strode towards the computer. “You liked the English? Well wait til you see…” she typed furiously for a few minutes, then stepped away. “The original Chinese.”

“You sang it in Chinese?” Fitz said, sidling over. “And you’re willingly letting us see it?”

“Yeah, well…” she smirked a little and crossed her arms. “I’ve had a change of heart about my past. This isn’t the worst thing I could’ve done. Believe me.”

“We never thought it was so bad,” Simmons said. “Really, we were just excited to learn something about your past.”

“I know,” Skye said. “I haven’t exactly been open about anything. Can’t promise that’ll change too much, but at least you can see my 15 minutes of fame now.”

“And believe me,” Trip said. “We are enjoying it.”

Skye smiled a little and crossed her arms, stepping back to let the rest of them get a better view. “You don’t have to enjoy it that much,” she grumbled, but privately, she didn’t mind as much as she thought she did. Agent Hill was right: it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. 

That didn’t mean she was going to let them find her other music video. There were some things she’d never be ready to share.


End file.
